Dancing Mindfulness
  • Home
  • About
    • The Practice
    • Dr. Jamie Marich
    • The Team
    • Academic Milestones
    • Slideshow: Peek Into A Class
    • Conscious Dancer Interviews
    • The New York Times Article
    • Stop Breathe Let Go
    • Fr. Richard Rohr Feature
  • Training
    • Live Training
    • Distance Training
    • Expressive Arts Therapy Certificate
    • Book Course on Curious.com
  • Community
    • Special Events
    • Calendar
    • Annual Retreat
    • Find a Facilitator
    • Follow Us on Spotify
    • Facilitators Only
  • Media & Blog
    • Expressive Arts Blog
    • Book
    • Video
    • Sample Facilitations with Jamie
    • Redefine Therapy Video Series
    • In The Press
    • Media Kit
  • Store
  • Contact

Surviving Dancing Mindfulness by Allison Bugzavich

5/29/2019

1 Comment

 
Picture
I have survived a Dancing Mindfulness retreat! If you’re familiar with Dancing Mindfulness, you might look at that sentence and wonder what the big deal is or ask, “What on earth is so hard about surviving any form of expressive art at whose very core is non-judgment?” My response to that would be: absolutely NOTHING. And yet, at the very first Dancing Mindfulness class offered by its creator, who is also my best friend, I was quaking in my little yoga pants. I’d like to hope I would have been there even had I not been working as her Gal Friday at the time, but if I’m to be completely honest, I’m sure I would have found a way to pin my absence on my children if I could have. But since I was the mastermind’s assistant, there I was: participating but not embracing—feeling awkward in my own skin, as I always have; lacking inspiration in how to move from points A to B without looking like a total dork, judging nobody except myself, and harshly at that. The irony here is that DM was created to not only bring about mindful awareness, but also to heal the participants of issues like those I was afraid to face in myself and so many others. Give me choreography or give me death (unless you want to see my own personal rendition of Steve Martin’s character in The Jerk learning to dance when first hearing jazz!)
 A little background on me: I’m a recovering alcoholic/addict, victim of molestation, rape and abuse, child of addicts, survivor of a parent lost to suicide. I’ve also had an abortion and am a screwball in general. In short: I’ve been in therapy for years due to having a lot of traumatic baggage in need of healing. Let’s face it: we all have stories and baggage, some of which was dumped on us by others, but it’s up to us to do the work necessary in order to heal. I’ve been #blessed in life to have several close friends, the cosmic joke being the bulk of them are therapists. I’ve found myself inspired by them countless times over the years, and have followed some of the suggestions given by them and those I’ve seen professionally, but I’d kept DM at arm’s length. I have rather short arms, giving me a T-Rex complex to boot, so you’d think it wouldn’t have taken me so long to finally give in to my friends in the DM community asking me to show up for more than a cameo appearance, but I took my sweet time. Despite the countless testimonials I’d seen and heard, despite seeing the growth of a community of the most incredible women (men as well, but my closest pals involved has been a sisterhood of sorts), despite the indescribable glow radiating from the participants. “This just isn’t my thing. You dance and I’ll update the website about how amazing you all feel.”  My children eventually grew, making it possible for me to get away: nevertheless I resisted. This isn’t designed for Baryshnikov and the like, it was made for everyone to move however they wanted—but that was my very problem. What hit me this weekend was the realization that while I’m a creative person, I’ve had no consistent outlet for my creativity for decades. As a child I was frequently told I either wasn’t allowed to express myself or that, when I did, I was wrong/ridiculous/stupid/insert negative synonym here—and it took taking part in this retreat to realize that it wasn’t just my speaking that was affected by this load of crap I actually believed for the longest time. That hurt. A lot. Old beliefs I thought I had worked through were still right in the heart of me with exactly what was needed to release them right there in front of me FOR YEARS. Normally, this kind of proverbial bitch slap from reality would leave me questioning all the work I’d done over the years, eventually leading to a tailspin of depression and calling myself a failure. Lucky for me, I was in exactly the right place to process all of this. So many creative outlets twirling, painting, chanting, singing past me, well within my reach. I’d beat myself up over this like i usually do, but I’d rather heal.
Dancing Mindfulness IS MY THING. It’s for everyone and I finally understand that at soul level after having heard those very words too many times to count. I feel like Scrooge waking up on Christmas morning, elated to have his second chance. When your tribe is as amazing as mine, it’s hard to not be influenced by their positivity, and I acknowledge some growth on my part since they’ve come into my life; but I feel like whatever wall of resistance I still had remaining has been blown to pieces. I feel my heart exposed, and vulnerable at the thought of it, but loving the blank canvas of my life for once. I have a tribe, a safe place where I can be me and loved unconditionally for it, I can move from points A to B however I see fit to, and I’ll fucking thrive. 
1 Comment

    Dr. Jamie Marich

    Curator of the Dancing Mindfulness expressive arts blog: a celebration of mindfully-inspired, multi-modal creativity

    Submissions always welcome! Message us to inquire.

    Archives

    September 2022
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All
    24 Hour Truce
    Academics
    Acrylic Pour
    Adaptation
    Addiction
    Aerial Yoga
    Aging
    Alcoholism
    Allison Bugzavich
    Ally
    Alternative To Bucket List
    Americana
    Anne Haley
    Art
    Bisexual
    Black
    #BlackLivesMatter
    Black Lives Matter
    Bodyfulness
    Body Love
    Book Reviews
    Breathe
    Buddhism
    Call To Action
    Catholicism
    Cathy Malchiodi
    Christinanity
    Christine Valters Paintner
    Church
    Church Of The Dude
    Clinical Self-care
    Commentary
    Community
    Community Reiki
    Conscious Dance
    Conspiracy Theories
    Contemplative Christianity
    Corona Virus
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Creativity
    Crystal Burr
    Crystals
    Cultural Appropriation
    Culture
    Cynthia Guajardo
    Dance
    Dance Chapel
    Dance Personality
    Dance Therapy
    Dancing Mindfulness
    Darkness
    David Reiter
    Demi Jacobs
    Determination
    Dialectics
    Dissociation
    Divine Feminine
    Divinity
    Dogs
    Domestic Violence
    Donald Trump
    Don McCasland
    Dr. Jamie Marich
    Dr. Kellie Kirksey
    Dr. Mara Tesler Stein
    Dudeism
    Efe Kurnaz
    Election 2020
    Ellen DeCarlo
    Embodiment
    Emily Capuria
    Emily Lasinsky
    Erica Hornthal
    Eric DiBell
    Erin Kelly
    Eve
    Exercise
    Expressive Arts
    Expressive Arts Therapy
    Facilitation
    Faith
    Family Activities
    Feminism
    Flash Fiction
    Gestalt
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Group
    Group Process
    Guest Post
    Haiku
    Hanuman
    Hawaii
    Health
    Heart
    Higher Self
    Hinduism
    Holisitic Spirituality
    Holistic Healing
    Holly Rivera
    Holly Speenburgh
    Humanity
    Impostor Syndrome
    India
    Injury
    Innaguration 2017
    Intuition
    Irene Rodriguez
    J A Meade
    Jamie Marich
    Jason Fair
    Jesus
    John O'Connell
    Journey Blind
    Joy
    Judaism
    Judgment
    Jung
    Kalindi Hoffmann
    Kamala Tahyi
    Karlene Rantamaki
    Katharine Fertig
    Katie Gifford
    Kelly Boyer Sagert
    Khalil Gibran
    Lauren Bergamo
    Leadership
    LGBT
    Light
    Love
    Mad Men
    Manigusto
    Marnie Cram
    Mary Lynne Zahler
    Mary Oliver
    Mary Riley
    Maui
    MBSR
    Meditation
    Mental Health
    Michael Gargano
    Mindfulness
    Misogyny
    Mixed Media
    Mosaic
    Movement Therapy
    Music
    Music Of Jamie Marich
    Narrative Medicime
    Nia
    Nicole Peterson
    Non-judgment
    Ola Sobanski
    Painting
    Paula Cookson
    Perfectionism
    Perinatal
    Pets
    Peyton Cram
    Photography
    Playlists
    Poem
    Poetry
    Poetry Medicine
    Practice Challenge
    Pranyama
    Pride Month
    Process
    Process Not Perfection
    Rainer Maria Rilke
    Ramona Skriiko
    Recovery
    Redefine Therapy
    Reiki
    Religion
    Resilience
    Rest
    Restorative Yoga
    Retreat
    River
    Rock Painting
    Rose Kormanyos
    Sadhana
    Second Chakra
    Self
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self-image
    Self-love
    Senses
    Shame
    Share Your Practice
    Social Work
    Songwriting
    Spiritual Abuse
    Spiritual Bypass
    Spiritual Healing
    Spirituality
    Spititual Bypass
    Star Wars
    St. Hildegard Of Bingen
    Support
    Support Groups
    Swami Kripalu
    Tantra
    Teaching
    Tears
    Tissue
    Tissues
    Transition
    Trauma
    Trauma-informed
    Travel
    Tree
    Try Again
    TV
    Velma Barber
    Vicki-england-patton
    Visual Art
    Visual Journaling
    Wailea
    Warrior
    Water
    Wellness
    Wellness Professional
    Wellness Professionals
    WisdomFeed
    Yoda
    Yoga
    Zumba

    RSS Feed

Contact

Memberships & Affiliations

Please direct all inquiries to:
support@instituteforcreativemindfulness.com
© Mindful Ohio & The Institute for Creative Mindfulness, 2021

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
Dancing Mindfulness/The Institute for Creative Mindfulness is an organizational member of the International Association of Expressive Arts Therapists, the Dance First Association, and NALGAP: The Association of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Addiction Professionals and Their Allies; Dancing Mindfulness proudly partners with The Breathe Network and Y12SR: The Yoga of 12-Step Recovery in our shared missions.
  • Home
  • About
    • The Practice
    • Dr. Jamie Marich
    • The Team
    • Academic Milestones
    • Slideshow: Peek Into A Class
    • Conscious Dancer Interviews
    • The New York Times Article
    • Stop Breathe Let Go
    • Fr. Richard Rohr Feature
  • Training
    • Live Training
    • Distance Training
    • Expressive Arts Therapy Certificate
    • Book Course on Curious.com
  • Community
    • Special Events
    • Calendar
    • Annual Retreat
    • Find a Facilitator
    • Follow Us on Spotify
    • Facilitators Only
  • Media & Blog
    • Expressive Arts Blog
    • Book
    • Video
    • Sample Facilitations with Jamie
    • Redefine Therapy Video Series
    • In The Press
    • Media Kit
  • Store
  • Contact